Families go through a grieving process when a loved one dies. When the death is due to homicide, the added trauma may cause the grieving process to last even longer.
Families will suffer numbness, shock, denial and often a justified stage of rage.
It is ok to scream, cry, curse, pray or express whatever feelings come up. Denial can stay with some families for months and sometimes years, and may need professional help to accept such a death.
The loss of a child is one of the most difficult things to accept. It brings loneliness and emptiness and needs time to come to grips with.
Here is a helpful exercise to assist recovery, ease the pain and relieve the heartache. Try it every day; it only takes a few moments of your time.
Make yourself comfortable, either lying down or sitting with both feet resting separately on the ground, hands resting on both knees. Take 10 deep breaths, making sure you breathe out completely each time, emptying your body and letting all the tension drain from your body with each breath.
Breath in positive affirmations such as CALMNESS, TRANQUILITY and QUIETNESS – then let go of your breath very slowly
This pleasant relaxed feeling will gradually become familiar to you. You begin to appreciate an inner calm and confident composure as you go about your daily life. Every time you choose to enjoy this feeling you will find it easier and easier to relax, and as you do so you will be more confident to do what you have to do. You will be more and more relaxed, more independent and more able to stand up for yourself, and take charge of situations that need your attention. As you become more relaxed you will feel calm, remote and detached and more in charge of your life.
If you find yourself becoming uptight, tense or anxious, just stop what you are doing for a moment, take a deep breath and very slowly let it out, say the word CALM.
Take another deep breath, slowly release it, and say the word TRANQUIL
Take another deep breath, very slowly let it out, and say the word QUIET.
Immediately you will feel calm, tranquil and quiet and this feeling will stay with you for as long as you wish. This little exercise can help you cope with your loss, and also can help you for the rest of your life.
Noeleen Slattery Lee